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Wubba lubba dub dub.

At long last Ricky and Morty are back with new episodes, which inspired us to do maybe one of the dumbest things ever and rank each episode of the series. For our top 10, we have not only chosen episodes that reflect the inventive writing and feverish humour of creators Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon, but we have also considered scenes that express the emotional depth of the show’s characters.

So here it is, a 100% objective, bulletproof list of every Rick and Morty episode. And if you don’t agree? Well squanch you, bitch.

01. Season 2, Episode 4: 'Total Rickall'

“Maybe we’ll see Chewbacca”

The house is in lockdown after a parasite multiplies by introducing fake memories into the Smith family. The writers are absolutely on fire here, as a series of bizarre characters populate the screen and we spin in an array of real and implanted memories and flashbacks. We meet an Amish cyborg, a samurai decked-out in meat, and a reverse giraffe. It’s a montage of explosive creativity and hilarity. But it’s perhaps the most basic character here that’s most memorable, Sleepy Gary. Who can forget his vacation with Jerry on the yacht? Wait, was that even real? RIP Mr Poopybutthole.

02. Season 2, Episode 2: 'Mortynight Run'

“I will kill anyone, anytime. Children, animals, old people, doesn’t matter. I just love killin’”

Rick and Morty attempt to save a gas lifeform (Fart) voiced by a smooth and sexy Jemaine Clement. He delivers the best musical score of the series with Goodbye Moonman, channelling David Bowie to create a psychedelic montage of a universe craving equilibrium. The episode is packed full of highlights, but it’s Jerry’s stay at Jerryboree, an intergalactic day-care made for Jerry’s that’s truly remarkable. It’s a wild concept that plays on interesting ideas of the Oedipal complex, as the Jerrys fool around in a ball pit before being asked by a giant, mascot version of Beth whether he wants to watch Midnight Run. “First one there gets to adjust the picture settings!”

03. Season 1, Episode 5: "Meeseeks and Destroy"

“Remember to square your shoulders, Jerry.”

This episode features one of the most bizarre and traumatised animation characters of all time, Mr Meeseeks. Designed to help with minuscule tasks, the lanky blue Mr Meeseeks becomes an existential mess after Jerry requests two strokes off his golf game. Meanwhile, Morty nearly gets raped by a jellybean as Rick belts out Sweet Home Alabama at the Thirsty Step Bar. Horrifying, hilarious, and violent, this is Rick and Morty at its very best.

04. Season 1, Episode 6: 'Rick Potion'

“What was it like to give your son a bath?” 

With the annual flu season dance coming up (“The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration, you don’t bring dead babies to Passover”), Morty asks Rick to make a love potion for Jessica. What follows is a devastating plague that transforms earth’s population into Cronenbergs. This episode is full of hilarious scenes (like Devan’s attempts to seduce Beth before succumbing to the love virus and asking her how soft Morty’s privates are), but it’s the ending that’s most notable, with Rick and Morty burying their own bodies in the backyard to Mazzy Star’s ‘Look on Down from the Bridge. It signals a darker, more dramatic turn for the series that is pulled off spectacularly.

05. Season 2, Episode 3: 'Auto Erotic Assimilation'

“I don’t know where those coalminers were before they were assimilated. You might want to get checked.”

In this episode, Roland and Harmond explore some interesting ideas surrounding the hive mind, presenting an inversion of the classic film Invasion of the Body Snatchers. What propels this episode forward is the emotional stakes that are presented by tying this hive mind to Rick’s ex-girlfriend, Unity. After days of debauchery (that sees Rick fulfil an utterly warped sexual fantasy involving a hang-glider, a crotch-less Uncle Sam costume, and men resembling his father chanting ‘Go son, go), Rick is confronted by a sense of loss, paving the way for a shocking ending that colours the emotional vicissitudes of a man often presented as an emotionally-despondent alcoholic.

06. Season 1, Episode 2: 'Lawnmower Dog'

“Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death”

While Rick and Morty attempt to incept Morty’s maths teacher, the rest of the family are confronted with their radically-enhanced dog, Snuffles. Sorry, Snowball (“Snuffles was my slave name, you shall now call me Snowball because my fur is pretty and white”). While the central plot of inception is marked by some wild sadomasochism and subversion of horror archetypes (Scary Terry, bitch), the K9 uprising also provides some interesting philosophical contexts and hilarity. Who can forget Snowball looming over Summer’s bed, “Where are my testicles, Summer?”

07. Season 3, Episode 1: 'The Rickshank Rickdemption'

Let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard, he was a terrorist and now he’s dead.”

Season three starts off with a bang as Rick attempts to escape the Galactic Federation’s prison. The Federation is mining Rick’s brain and it’s here that we see some of the series’ incredible art style, with the pink neural patterns of the brain providing the backdrop to Rick’s fabricated origin story. More important revelations are revealed for the character of Rick in an episode that truly showcases the power of Rick and Morty. I mean, they literally brought back Szechuan dipping sauce. C’mon.

08. Season 1, Episode 10: 'Close-encounters of a Rick Kind'

“Also every 10 seconds it stabs your balls.”

This episode introduces some important concepts that the writers will repeatedly draw from. Rick is kidnapped by the trans-dimensional council of Ricks, and attempts to track down a killer-at-large. It’s an episode that features some incredibly inventive storytelling, and showcases some of the shows best attributes: emotional resonance, witty dialogue, and disturbing imagery (who can forget the horrific dome of tortured Mortys?) The ending is also one of the more powerful bookends, and leaves us pondering the possibilities of a Morty that, as Rick puts it, breaks an arm jerking himself off.

09. Season 1, Episode 8: 'Rixty Minutes'

“Sometimes small true true different than the big true true.”

One of the more polarising episodes for fans, this episode sees a lot of adlibbing from creators Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. Rick and Morty become couch potatoes with interdimensional cable and watch a series of bizarre, improvised television shows like The Last Will of Testimeow, Baby Legs, and Ball Fondlers. The episode is experimental, and shows that the writers are willing to continue to mess with the formula of Rick and Morty. Meanwhile, Jerry and Beth discover what their lives could’ve been if Beth had an abortion. It leads to a surprisingly touching ending that sees Jerry go rogue in an O.J. Simpson-style getaway before falling into Beth’s arms.

010. Season 1, Episode 3: 'Anatomy Park'

“Keep your eyes on Annie. She was written up several times by her manager at the churro stand.”

What better way to spend Christmas than at a theme park of infectious diseases inside a homeless man? Maybe sitting at dinner, listening to the sexual escapades of your parents? In this clever, irreverent episode, we see one of the most memorable scenes of the entire series, “Reports from all over the country have been coming in about what appears to be a giant naked man over the continental United States.” This body ends up exploding, creating a beautiful, bloody rainfall across a snowy American landscape. Gruesome, funny, beautiful. A fitting image of the show itself.

011. And the rest...

11. Season 2, Episode 10: ‘The Wedding Squanchers’ “The Trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk.”

12. Season 2, Episode 6: ‘The Ricks Must be Crazy’ “All of you have loved ones. All can be returned. All can be taken away. Please step away from the vehicle.”  

13. Season 1, Episode 4: ‘M. Night Shaym-Aliens’ “Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific.” 

14. Season 2, Episode 1:  ‘A Rickle in Time’ “Can somebody just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet.”

15. Season 3, Episode 2: ‘Rickmancing the Stone’One man enters, one man comes out in nine months.”

16. Season 2, Episode 9: ‘Look who’s Purging Now’ “Morty, if we’re going to survive tonight you’re going to need to harness your suppressed rage.”

17. Season 1, Episode 7: ‘Raising Gazorpazorp’Marc? Jacob? These are names of the penis.” 

18. Season 2, Episode 7: ‘Big Trouble in Little Sanchez’ “Get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it’s together.” 

19. Season 1, Episode 1: ‘Pilot’ “Since we’re fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.” 

20. Season 2, Episode 5: ‘Get Schwifty’She’s allowed to think it’s God if she wants, honey.” 

21. Season 2, Episode 8: ‘Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate’Does all interdimensional TV have to rely on juvenile violence?”

22. Season 1, Epsiode 11: ‘Ricksy Business’ “I love watching bukkake. I mean, like, I don’t know if I would personally ever do it.”

23. Season 1, Episode 9: ‘Something Ricked This Way Comes’ “Cute. Your sister’s boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.”

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