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No Country for Old (Rap) Men: Rapsplaining Must Stop

Robbie calls out a few rappers who thought we needed an immediate lesson in lyricism

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A popular buzzword in recent years has been the term ‘mansplaining,’ which I personally find to be rather problematic but let’s save that for another day. Rapper dudes have a longstanding tradition of over-explaining their own lyrics in their rhymes, often right after they’ve said it, which is a sure-fire way to kill the mystery in a relationship, as Joe Budden has been preaching for years. Here are some examples of completely unnecessary ‘rapsplaining,’ if you will. Ugh, I feel so dirty for typing that word…


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01. Parrish Smith on EPMD's 'Rampage'

‘Cause I clock pesos, don’t sell llello
‘Nother word for cocaine mi amigo
That’s Spanish, terminology for friend
Now sit back and ride my bozack as I send’
I can understand why the Mic Doctor PMD thought it may be helpful to explain the meaning of ‘llello’ (pronounced ‘yayo’) for the two people on the planet who haven’t watched Scarface over a hundred times, but the fact that he then feels the need to explain that ‘amigo’ AND what language it is seems overkill. At least the next line didn’t delve into the finer points of European dialect (‘Oui – that’s French for yes/bonjour, means hello, I guess?’).


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02. Big L on 'Ebonics'

‘Your apartment is your pad
Your old man is your dad
The studio is the lab and heated is mad’
The late, great Lamont Coleman from D.I.T.C. delivered an amazing collection of slang explanations with his first single on his own indie label, but it’s pretty clear that he began to run out of words later in the song when he resorted to explaining the meaning of both ‘pad’ and ‘old man,’ terms that aren’t so much street slang as ancient jargon that’s been in use since the eighteenth century and was re-introduced by beatniks around 1959.


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03. Rakim on 'My Melody'

‘With wisdom, which means wise words being spoken
Too many at one time, watch the mic start smoking’
Rakim Allah is a master of this here rap shit, but even the Seventh Letter found it necessary to talk down to his fans on occasion, such as the time he thought he should let everybody know the meaning of ‘wisdom’ which you won’t find in any dictionary. Maybe he should have explained the word ‘wise’ in the next bar.


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04. Schoolboy Q on 'The Purge'

‘Won’t get the strike twice, you niggas half price
Which means you half off, I’m going Adolf’
For those of you who are unfamiliar with how the retail system works, Bucket Hat Q explains the finer points of bargain hunting by establishing that ‘half off’ and ‘half price’ have the same meaning, which should help you avoid possible embarrassment at the checkout. Thanks, Q!


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05. Jay Z on 'Roc Boys'

‘Heroin got less steps than Britney
That means it ain’t stepped on, dig me?’
I often find that when a joke requires an explanation it ceases to be funny. The same principle also applies to rap punchlines.


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06. Starang Wondah on Heltah Skeltah's 'Here We Come'

‘Nocturnal! Which means to live life at nighttime’
Thank-you, Mr. Wondah, for clearing up any confusion that sun dwellers may have about the title of Sean Price and Ruckness Monsta’s debut LP. No doubt he would have also been available to explain the meaning of future album titles had they gone with ‘Daylight,’ ‘Sunset’ and ‘Dawn.’


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07. Noble of the Outlawz on Tupac's 'Hail Mary'

”Cause word is bond, when I was broke I had to hustle ’til dawn
That’s when sun came up, there’s only one way up’
Continuing the theme of exploring the lunar cycle, one of Pac’s chief weed holders is apparently so thrilled to have figured out that the sun sets in the west and rises in the east the following morning that he wants to share it with the whole cot-damned world.


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08. Dr Dre on Eminem's 'Encore'

‘You a fad, that means you’re something that we already had
But once you’re gone, you don’t come back, too bad’
Since Andre Young was so intent on informing listeners as to the finer points of what makes a fad, I’m a little disappointed that he made no mention of hula hoops, Hypercolor t-shirts or Blog Rappah Mickey Factz. Dre is more than familiar with fads – having been part of the leather and lace LA Rap movement as a member of World Class Wrecking Cru, wearing Raiders gear as a member of NWA and performing Mad Max 3 cosplay with Tupac.


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09. Lost Boyz 'Renee'

‘She wants to be a lawyer
In other words, shorty studies law’
So…what you’re saying is that if somebody desires to pursue a professional vocation, they might consider a formal education through one of the many fine colleges and universities throughout the world? Seems pretty crazy if you ask me. I sure hope things worked out OK for this Renee character.