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Guys, we’ve been made into a special edition Monopoly board. It was unveiled in Fed Square today, which involved a life-sized version of the board, playing tokens and dice, and Mr Monopoly himself (who I believe is actually named Rich Uncle Pennybags). It’s expectedly corny af, with the playing tokens featuring a ‘street art spray can’, Sherrin football, tram, and takeaway coffee cup, among other things.

The blue properties AKA the most expensive spots were given to major city landmarks—the MCG and Federation Square—which some people have already called out because where are you going to put a hotel in the middle of the MCG?

One of the Chance cards are sure to feel the wrath of many within the ‘hipster’ set: “A Fitzroy hipster takes too long ordering a half-strength, decaf, soy mocha Frappuccino. Go back three spaces.” Do they even sell those in Fitzroy? On the flipside, another card reads “Receive $2000 for a Chapel Street Precinct personal stylist session.” Hmmmm…

According to the Herald Sunthe remaining properties include the University of Melbourne and Melbourne Zoo in the green properties; Bells Beach and Brighton Bathing Boxes in the yellow properties; with Hosier and Hardware Lanes rounding off the brown properties. Oh, and you don’t just Go to Jail—you go to Old Melbourne Gaol, of course.

Monopoly: Melbourne edition is available now.


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Weekly updates