Weekly updates:

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Weekly updates

Future neon rock lord and 220-pound trainee Hulk Hogan RiFF RAFF is now pimping himself to high school kids. Yesterday he posted a proposal on Instagram that, for a measly $28,000 Jody Highroller will be your prom date.

If I was a parent, a macho version of Ruby Rhod, whose last song was named ‘Kokayne’ and who plans on bringing hair rock into the 21st century, isn’t someone I’d trust to take my daughter to the prom. Let alone pay $28,000 for the privilege. That’s some coin I could be spending on an OVO-themed den. Or paying Lucien Clarke to skate around in front of me all day so I could live in an IRL skate video. Or many other things that would be considered old and kitsch when I’m 45.

But the honour or gazing into RiFF RAFF’s eyes during the last dance of the night and pretty much locking in prom queen status isn’t all you get when the Neon Icon takes you to prom. As well as letting every body else know you’re loaded AF, you get a selection of PG escort extras, detailed on Instagram.

Is this really going to go down? Probably not. But more ridiculous things have happened because, you know – America. So keep hitting command-R on this page every two minutes for the next month and we’ll keep you posted with any revelations.

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