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There’s some degree of cruel irony in Vanilla Ice not liking a rap song. It’s like a man in Crocs telling you that you got your Infrared Jordan 5s are in the wrong colourway. After hearing the theme song to the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, ‘Shell Shocked’ by Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, and Juicy J, Mr. Van Winkle had this to say to GQ:

“With respect to all of the artists, the song doesn’t really do it for me. It feels a little artificial—what I mean by that is that it sounds like a bunch of executives in the corporate world put it together. It really does not fit the theme of the Ninja Turtles legend. I think you have to understand, and be a true Ninja, to possess the Magic to really pull off the secret sound.”

It’s true, the song sucks, but no one needs to hear the song to know this. While it’s funny that he said anything at all, it seems that this man in Crocs has his own Air Jordan collection – including the Air Jordan 11 DMP with gold eyelets and every release of AJ 5s – except for the colourway you’re wearing.

This is because Vanilla Ice penned the TMNT song ‘Ninja Rap’ for the 1991 film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze back in 1991. He also celebrated his 46th birthday performing that track with a troupe of dancers clad in TMNT garb, so he’s pretty much an OG of this turtle ish.

Watch the lacklustre new entry, along with the lacklustre ’90s version, above.

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