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Weekly updates

Is it a Christmas miracle? Nah, these people were just tripping balls.

A bakery in California has been shut down this week after 40 people fell ill with symptoms ranging from nausea and hallucinations to out-of-body experiences.

The cake, a traditional delicacy known as Rosca de Reyes, is typically eaten at the end of the Christmas season and has a little plastic baby Jesus baked within.

The customers who bought this dessert from Cholula’s Bakery in Santa Ana ended up in the hospital, all reporting suspiciously similar symptoms. Worse than being the one to consume the baby Jesus by accident, these patrons unexpectedly dropped an unidentified substance.

Originally, health inspectors had found traces of cockroaches during an initial investigation but soon elevated the investigation to a criminal matter and are awaiting lab results to confirm the presence of drugs and furthermore, to isolate which specific narcotic was consumed.

Shalane Kerr