Yo homie, are you truly living your lifestyle with the maximum levels of swag? Like, I know you copped that Bape whip with the suicide doors, and you’re having that 16-foot KAWS companion delivered for your deck setting next week, but do you feel like you’re overlooking something? I know you’ve got an eye for details, because you start your day with a cup of coffee from your technical Neighborhood mug, and you season your meals with them booze reaper salt and pepper shakers. I mean damn, Brian Donnelly designed your lightbulbs, and Misha Hollenbach made your rug. Still, it sometimes seems like there’s something missing from the crib, right? That lingering doubt that creeps in in the grey hour between 2am and 3am when you’re all tucked up in your Versace sheets? Could it be the existential void that is the knowledge that you as an individual don’t matter, the thought that you keep trying to push away with every cop?
NAH FAM. IT’S BECAUSE YOUR DESERT GAME ISN’T TIGHT. If you’re seriously sitting here in 2014 and you’re not eating Baskin-Robbins First Class Camouflage Ice Cream™ from a Baskin-Robbins First Class Camoflauge Technical Waffle Cone™, then you’re a first-class fuccboi and you’re dead to me and the rest of the squad. It’s a US exclusive, so you’re going to have to proxy that shit in – but that’s a small price to pay to sleep at night player.