So I’m safely back in Mom’s Basement after five weeks running around the east coast of the US, despite the fact that some rabid Termanology fan rammed into my friend’s truck (pictured) on the way to the airport, destroying his own car and crippling the gold Ford Ranger we were in, therefore almost making me miss my flight home. What better time to sit back with an ice-cold Slurpee and look back at some of the highs and lows of my many encounters with rapper dudes and dames during my escapades.
Foul Monday: Helped him install a new air conditioning unit in his QB apartment and got drunk and high while waiting for a bunch of local rappers to turn up.
Ali Shaheed Muhammad: Spotted at Rakim’s park jam, maintained his infamous “too cool for school image” with much aplomb.
Dres: Talked to him on the way to the Big Daddy Kane show, threw Kanye under the bus multiple times.
Spike Lee: Not a rapper dude but played a pizza delivery guy in the greatest hip-hop movie of all time (Do The Right Thing) and clearly doesn’t care for Australians based on my encounter with him.
Sean Price: Appreciated my man-style, classic firm handshake. Pause.
Mr. Cee: See above. Double pause.
DJ Ronin: Gave me CDs and kept reminding me every time I missed a show.
$amhill: Showed me around Forest projects in the Bronx and the Big Pun mural.
C Rayz Walz: Had a nose ring for some reason.
45 King: Hung out for three hours smoking Newports and then ordered me some hood Chinese. No music was played at any point.
Royal Flush: Is currently represented by a broad from Sydney named “Blue” for some reason.
DJ Kayslay: Flanked by several of his Straight Stuntin’ girls, Dezzy Dez gave me a look that said indicated he may punch me in the face if I said the wrong thing, which I appreciate on a certain level.
Chill Rob G: Rap legend who bought me a beer while I explained the mysterious case of Tim Dog’s possibly faked death.
Jadakiss: Indicated he may visit Australia one day, but everyone says that so don’t get too excited, D-Block fans.
Joey Bada$$: I attempted to explain the art of weed carrying. He seemed confused but listened politely.
Gunplay: Watched him get a haircut while playing with his phone and almost falling into a kush coma before springing into life as soon as the cameras started rolling.
Prodigy: Seemed impressed when my pal Dallas Penn informed him that I spend all day hunting crocodiles and studying QB rap.
The Alchemist: After months of breaking each other’s balls on Twitter, I was finally able to explain why shorts are not acceptable attire in public.
Stretch Armstrong: Was wearing canvas boat shoes like a G.
Meyhem Lauren: Explained his advanced cologne mixing architecture and why he supports wheat grass shots.
J. Force: Introduced me to a guy who once dated Paul C’s sister.
Ice Rocks: Took J. Force and myself to a diner in Queens with a mean swordfish skewer pasta and excellent pina coladas, one of which his beard drank by itself.
DJ Too Tuff: Got my ticket to the Kool G Rap show in Philly from this dude, so I will forever be in his debt.
Ed OG: Didn’t recognise him initially at The Middle East in Boston due to his MC Eiht style corn-rows.
DJ 7L: Gave me a slightly damaged MF Doom lunchbox, a BDP gun-shaped USB stick and a tour of the Bean. His rap tape collection is unfadable.
Hannibal Stax: Talked about the the good old days of the Gangstarr Foundation in front of a diner while keeping an eye on his car in case of parking inspectors.
Aaron Fuchs: Let me help myself to old Tuff City rap tapes and a few choice pieces of vinyl from the archives.
AG Da Coroner: His knowledge of The Wonder Years TV series is mind-boggling.
The Doppelgangaz: I blessed these dudes with a vintage Rap Hands performance and shoulder dance for their “On The Rag” video.
DJ Phantom: Played me the unreleased Killa Sha album, which was incredible.
Marco Polo: Played me the greatest QB rap song I’ve heard in years, from his forthcoming Port Authority 2 album, and explained why Newports are the perfect smoke.
K-Def: Played me the four-track of Johnny Guitar Watson’s “Superman Lover” with just the drums, and numerous other rarities from Biz Markie’s collection.
Grand Daddy IU: Hung out in a bar in Long Island that provided free pizza, had a struggle Tina Turner cover act and was invaded by black bikers at one point.
Keep up with Robbie’s weekly ‘No Country for Old (Rap) Men’ here.