Weekly updates:

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Weekly updates

In the wake of the media shitstorm around that CCTV video of Solange laying into Jay Z after the Met Ball, The Carter–Knowles family have issued a statement to The Associated Press:

“As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage from Monday, May 5th, there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident.”

There sure has.

“But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it.”


“Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred.”

But what was the nature of the “unfortunate incident”? That’s probably why there has been “a great deal of speculation.”

“They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family.”

Where “united family” conveniently doubles as “united, carefully stage-managed megabrand”.

“The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false.”

So Solange just didn’t do a very good job of abusing the open bar at the Met Ball?

“At the end of the day families have problems and we’re no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We’ve put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same.”

This bit actually rings true. We’ll probably say goodbye to this whole affair for a while when the next #MediaCircus rolls into town. May #WhatJayZSaidToSolange live on as one of those Trivial Pursuit entertainment questions that baffles the shit out of subsequent generations of kids.